20 possible reasons why PHP function names and parameters are weird

Here are 20 possible reasons why PHP functions lack consistent names and parameters. Learning the definition for every PHP function is truly an amazing feat and I doubt this has been attempted or accomplished by anyone. At least, by any sane human. And references are named references because they are designed to be referenced, right?

The List:

• PHP glues APIs and humans together, and sometimes this gets messy
• PHP documenters pull strings to force a dedicated audience
• PHP is gearing up for a massive quiz on every function signature to rival all pi (π) competitions
• PHP likes BC
• PHP thrives on making your life difficult... because it's fun
• PHP is working on a time machine so really none of this matters
• PHP gladly and openly steals ideas and usage from other languages
• PHP says all your namespace are belong to us
• PHP functions have been developed under many circumstances, sometimes drunk
• PHP is a recursive acronym
• PHP anarchy says rules? we don't need no stinkin' rules!
• PHP function naming algorithm still remains a secret and cannot be cracked
• PHP chose to give people something fun to complain/blog/laugh about
• PHP function aliases are for the weak
• PHP functions created in the 90's (and some later) directly used prototypes from low-level APIs
• PHP isn't designed to win a beauty contest
• PHP has other problems to solve
• PHP needed a way to explain having an elephant for a logo
• PHP encourages text editors to be intelligent => code insight
• PHP.net + Ads = $$$

Related Resources:

• CODING_STANDARDS history (1998-1999) and (1999-present) and (view current)
• Rasmus article "Do You PHP?", see section titled "The Ugly Duckling of Programming Languages"

Related Quiz Questions:

• Write the prototype for: in_array, isset, empty, strpos, strstr, subtr, implode
• Find the aliases: die, exit, echo, print, mysql, strchr, strstr, implode
• Locate the functions: die, echo, print, include, isset, unset, array, rtfm, str_parse, implode
• Define these PHP terms: Deprecated, Minor release, Major release, PECL, TSRM, Open Source, Rules