An unexpected result from the PHP manual: odbc_setoption()

A few days ago in IRC, Johannes quoted the odbc_setoption() documentation. The quoted awesomeness speaks for itself so here’s a snippet from the odbc_setoption() PHP manual page:

“However, if on a particular job it can make PHP work so your
boss doesn’t tell you to use a commercial product, that’s all
that really matters.”

This description has been there for over 13 years but I failed to locate the origin. So to whoever wrote this, kudos to you, and down with the man! ;)

We hate math, say 4 in 10 — a majority of Americans

The following story shows up on facebook/twitter/somewhere every few months or so. I do enjoy such things, but also love scouring the tubes for history and reality. Sites like and are useful tools. Here’s the image:

four in 10 equals majority

A few points:

  • Granted 4 is not a majority of 10, but more hate Math (according to this poll) than any other subject
  • This is an AP (Associated Press) story that was circulated by many outlets and organizations, and it appears one created this bogus title
  • I’m not sure if the bogus title was intentional (as a joke), or legitimately false — but will assume the former :)

See this article (with a different title) at here if you’re curious.

Next task: find where the copy with this title originated, and optionally the intent of said title.

A simple post about MySQL Enterprise Manager

The MySQL Enterprise Manager (MEM) is one of the projects I get to work on. It’s a web application for monitoring/debugging/managing MySQL .


For the geeks amongst us, here’s a nice talk given by Mark Matthews. It demonstrates usage scenarios and information about MEM.


And for people who sort of know what a database is. It’s like a “Task Manager” for the MySQL database. It helps us use MySQL better, especially for debugging and tuning purposes.

Future MEM posts

It’s an exciting time to be part of the MEM team, and I expect spending larger chunks of time on the project. I’ll be writing about my MEM experiences in the future, and ideally provide useful tips and examples.

One year at Oracle

I’ve been working at Oracle for about a year now, specifically on MySQL related goodness. It’s a database, and I’m a technical writer. Essentially this means that I write words about MySQL that helps programmers write software, which mostly entails websites. I’m lucky to work with great people and am thankful for that. The documentation team is made up of myself, Jon, John, Paul, and Stefan. And we’ll be adding sixth person soon.

So that’s what I’ve been up to. I forgot about my blog but will begin writing here again. Thanks for being so patient. ;)

One way PHP may capitalize on its popularity

Today Rasmus mentioned that he received a $500 offer for the domain name. Discussion ensued, which ultimately led to the indisputable belief that is worth over 10 million US dollars. Therefore, let’s think about this further:

Languages by worth [1] (in USD):

  • : $10,176,050
  • : $4,088,792
  • : $246,064
  • : $219,624

Clearly PHP is #1. And PHP should sell this domain name and purchase the competitors, so here’s how that proposal works:

First, purchase the competitor domain names:

10,176,050 – (4,088,792 + 246,064 + 219,624) = 5,621,570

Next, purchase for future use:

5,621,570 – 2,594 = 5,618,976

And lastly, distribute the remaining cash to the account holders

5,618,976 / 1,568 = $3,583.53 checks for everyone

So if you want to be a part of this action, then be sure to apply for a SVN account within the next week. Here’s one way to do that:

  • Go to
  • Or, use the [edit] links on the top right of every PHP manual page, and click them
  • Create a patch or three
  • Email about these patches/changes, and introduce yourself
  • Receive a account (and your very own (soon to be!) email address) and start committing
  • And now wait for a large fat sack of cash in the mail, in the form of a check (signed by Rasmus, our BDFL)

How have we not done this already?!

And PHP is determining how best to take advantage of the haystack/needle confusion, but the increased site traffic from confused users can and should be taken advantage of. See, this was part of the master plan all along!

Solid reference: [1]